How do you stay close to the people you love when you only see them a handful of times a year? That’s the challenge I faced when I moved from Auckland to Christchurch for university. Going from seeing people every day to a few times a year is a big change. Here are my top tips for keeping in contact.
My number one tip is to make the effort to return home over your breaks. Flights are costly, and it’s tempting to just stay put. However, if you pick the cheapest flights and book in advance, you can bring the price down significantly. I come back to Auckland every holiday and catch up with my friends and family. We don’t need to do anything extravagant either. We like to do things like have a picnic or go to a restaurant and focus on catching up with each other. Unfortunately, our schedules don’t always align, and sometimes I only get an hour or two with people. But even those brief moments remind me how important these relationships are. This is why it is so important to not only talk to your friends and family in person.
This brings me to my second tip for keeping in contact – social media. Recently, social media has been made out to be the enemy of social interaction, but it is still a great tool for communication. Liking stories, making posts, sending reels, and general texting are great for keeping up with each other’s lives. Your friends and family still like to know all the small things that you used to talk about. Think about how much time you spent together. A TikTok trick that I have found useful for texting is to narrate your life. Texting things like “going out for lunch” or “study time” may seem insignificant, but they are great conversation starters and are also quite nice to hear. Since I have moved down south, our group chats have turned from a quiet place for making plans to a never-ending slurry of messages. I not only feel included, but when we do see each other again, conversations flow just as easily. So continue to use social media to your advantage.
My final tip, and the hardest for me to get into the habit of, is calling people. I know – I, too, dread talking on the phone, but it is so good to hear people’s voices again. Depending on the dynamic of your friend group, it may be hard to call them. Voice chats while playing video games are great excuses to talk to each other. For the closer groups, or closer people, simply asking “Are you free to call?” is enough to initiate a call. You don’t need to be sitting at attention the whole time, either. You can video call while doing work or making dinner. Calling people is a great way to turn a former chore into a great excuse to catch up.
Distance changes how you connect, but it doesn’t have to weaken those connections. Put in the effort, and the people who matter will still feel close. No matter how far away you are.
Alex Livingston – 2024 Graduate
