When I woke up last week, it felt as if the world had secretly switched to a new set of operating rules. A tiny emoji floated above everyone’s head, plainly displaying their truest emotions of the day. Happiness showed up as a smiling face with crinkled eyes; anxiety was a furrow-browed profile. Even the irritation secretly bottled up inside people was laid bare for all to see, impossible to hide.
During those first few days, all polite pretenses seemed to vanish overnight on campus.
In maths class, noticing the anxiety hovering over my head, my teacher slowed down deliberately while explaining the formulas, and came over after class to ask whether I was struggling with the lesson. When our group worked on a robotics project, no one pretended to be hard-working while secretly slacking off. It was instantly obvious who was distracted and who was stressed. When I was upset, I no longer had to force myself to say, “I’m fine.” Seeing the unhappy emoji above my head, my friend would hand me a bottle of water, and we could sort things out right away.
Back then, I kept thinking that if everyone could be this open and honest, almost all misunderstandings and conflicts would disappear.
Before long, however, I began to sense something was wrong.
I did terribly on my last Economics quiz. As soon as I walked out of the exam hall, a downcast sad emoji hung steadily above my head. All I wanted was to head to the playground and sit alone for ten minutes to pull myself together. Yet every classmate I passed stopped to ask, “Are you alright?” Even the senior student serving food in the cafeteria gave me an extra spoonful of mashed potatoes.
I had not shed a single tear that day, yet I felt my embarrassment laid bare for everyone. There was no space left for me to process my feelings in private.
A friend in the choir ran into some family trouble. She had no wish for others to know about it, yet her low-spirited emoji could not be concealed. For an entire week, people kept coming up to comfort her and ask what had happened. They meant well, but every question seemed to pull her back into something she was trying to move on from.
Her mood, which might have healed gradually, became harder to recover from as the incident was brought up again and again.
It dawned on me then that not every emotion is meant to be laid out in the open.
I started thinking about all the times people say, “I’m fine,” even when they are not. Sometimes they are lying. But sometimes, they simply do not know how to explain what they are feeling yet. Sometimes they need a little time before they are ready to talk.
I thought about my teachers too.
A teacher might have had a terrible morning, but still walk into class with a smile and teach us normally. Were they lying to us?
I don’t think so.
Maybe they were simply choosing not to bring something private into the classroom.
That made me realise that honesty and showing every emotion are not the same thing.
Being honest means not deliberately deceiving people or pretending to be someone you are not. But it does not mean that everyone deserves to know everything happening inside your head.
Sometimes, keeping an emotion to yourself can be a way of giving yourself time.
Sometimes, it can also be a way of giving other people space.
And sometimes, the kindest thing someone can do is not ask, “What happened?” again and again, but simply say, “I’m here if you want to talk.”
A few days later, I walked into school and noticed something strange.
The emojis were gone.
For the first time in weeks, I looked around the classroom and had no idea how anyone was feeling.
It felt strange.
But somehow, it also felt normal.
A friend looked at me and asked, “Are you okay?”
I smiled. “Yeah. I’m fine.”
She couldn’t tell whether I really was, but she didn’t push me. She just nodded and said, “Okay. I’m here if you need me.”
As I watched her walk away, I realised that maybe this was what we had been missing.
Not honesty: choice.
The choice to speak when we are ready. The choice to keep something private. The choice to ask for help when we need it.
So, is honesty always the best choice?
I think being sincere with people is important. But I no longer think we have to show every feeling we have just because we feel it.
Maybe a better world isn’t one where everyone can see everything.
Maybe it is a world where people care enough to ask, and care enough to wait for the answer.
Vivian Yang – Year 11
